Even with a simple web address - I have to get my little notebook, very carefully and accurately copy the entire address out in pencil, then I go back to the email I'm sending you, and then carefully type it all in again. I suspect that if I highlight the address, then do something else (?) it should show up in the email... but how???
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise
If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out toolsIf you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!
--Rudyard Kipling
My Dad's name was John. He was a great guy, although I didn't really appreciate that for most of my life, maybe my whole life. People say that being a parent is the most satisfying or fulfilling thing they've done, and maybe that's so. But for me, it's the most frustrating thing I've ever done. I'm used to dealing with computers. You tell them what to do and they do it. If they do something different or wrong, it isn't the computers fault, it's mine, because I programmed it wrongly. Kids are different. You tell them what you want them to do and they go and do something completely different, or not not at all. If a kid were something you got from Toys R Us, you'd go and get your money back because it doesn't work properly.
So, my Dad was, I think, and in retrospect, a good guy. A very good guy. We all (or mostly anyway) think that about our father, but I really think he was. I remember his patience, which had to be stretched pretty thin dealing with four kids. I remember how he'd turn red before he'd lose his patience, but not so often that it's the main thing I remember. I remember he had a quiet way about him, a gentle way, that drew people to him, made people comfortable and open around him. I remember he smiled a lot. He had a funny sense of humor that I may have inherited, and many of his so called 'Scottish Jokes' (read: Silly) live on in me.
Jazz was a big part of my Dad's life, of who he was. Creativity, actually, was really what he was about. He had a creative side to him, that had long ago been subsumed by the need to take care of his family, but in his later years he began to exercise his creativity again, through taking an Art degree through the Open University (like todays online Courses), through pottery, through painting and drawing, and just being interested in the world around him.
Years later, when I became more aware of the world around me, not just as somewhere to live, but as somewhere to appreciate at many levels, I came upon the poem 'If' by Rudyard Kipling. Maybe it was my Mum or maybe my Dad who first showed that to me, but years later, after his death, it spoke to me as a Father to his Son. The qualities that he tried, by example, to show to me, are all there, and when I read that poem it makes me think of him.
So now I have two kids who I try to parent, and Adam has learned 'If', and he doesn't appreciate it either. And I play both kids 'Peter and the Wolf' by Prokofiev, and they don't appreciate that. And I listen to old Jazz tunes, and try to be patient, and do my best to guide and educate and encourage the kids to be open, and generous, and thoughtful, and loving, and free of hate, and honest - and they don't appreciate any of it, just as I never appreciated my Father. But maybe one day, they will, I hope, as I appreciate my Father now, and as I carry him with me, every day, to try and be as good a man as he was.
This is a funny guy. I mean really funny. Laugh out loud gasp for breath 'Did he just say that?' funny. How does he get to be so funny? Well he has a strange way of looking at things, which is to say, it's a very honest and direct way, and, more than that, he just says whatever pops into his head. He's not trying to entertain anyone, he just has funny thoughts and he says them.
So, this isn't his funniest by any means, but it's what made me start this particular blog so I could write stuff down - Brian doesn't do himself any favors, he would be the first to admit, and I dread his late night phone calls in case it's his last one and he's calling to say goodbye.
Brian has been seeing Sarah (on and off) for a loooong while. She decided to try some diet pills from China, which, if I'm not mistaken, are chock full of ephedra, or whatever the name for that is in Chinese. So, she orders these pills on the internet, and when she receives them also gets four 'Chinese Viagra' pills. Brian, deciding he'd like to try these out, but being strangely anxious about certain areas of his life (whilst also demonstrating complete abandon in others), decides to go to the pharmacy to ask what's in them. The conversation, I'm told, goes something like this -
Brian - Can you tell me what's in these 'Chinese Viagra' pills I'm about to take?
Pharmacist - Let me see, hmmm, well, all the ingredients are in Chinese, so although I can tell you it's from China, I can't tell you what's in it.
Brian - So do you think it's safe to take?
Pharmacist - Well it is manufactured to Chinese safety standards, so maybe it'll be ok...
Brian - Dude, have you seen all the toy recalls recently from China? If that's their safety standard, I'm going to leave it - give me one of those Levitra's!
(Pharmacist cracks up)
