Henry Root

My Mum just reminded me about Henry Root, man was he FUNNY! This was actually an author, William Donaldson, had a wild and crazy life, became most famous for his letters to various prominent people, all in charcater as 'Henry Root' and ex-fishmonger and prominent Right Wing nutcase. He'd send people 5 pounds for their 'cause', completely missing the point of it all, and incidentally threatening to turn up on their doorsteps at specific times and places, to the panicked replies from the subject.

Anyways, very funny stuff, I'll try and find some examples...

UPDATE - died in 2005. Here's the obit in the Guardian...

I'm 36!!!!

Yay! According to this little gizmo, I'm 36 (in gonzo years, 45 actually), and I'm going to live until 83!!! Hoorah! Kind of cool little thing, it asks you all sorts of questions and calculates your 'real' age and life expectancy. Right on! I knew that 45 was the new 35!!!

http://www.embedtube.com/uploads/33101407Realage.swf

Heffalump Alert!

My Mum sent me this! Very cool! It's an Elephant that can paint! Apparently they are sentient creatures, sociable and so on... Makes you think, really, about the way they are hunted. They seem to be such gentle creatures...

Cut and Paste...

This made me chuckle. I've been trying to get Mum to start her own Blog, and I have to say she's actually pretty good now at the whole computer thing, so I think she can do it. But once in a while, she'll send me something that makes me realize that very basic stuff, that I think is something that 'everyone' knows, is not always common knowledge - and of course, why would it be? We're not born with a computer attached to us!! :-) Anyways, here's the passage that made me chuckle, when Mum was talking about how she answers my emails...

Even with a simple web address - I have to get my little notebook, very carefully and accurately copy the entire address out in pencil, then I go back to the email I'm sending you, and then carefully type it all in again. I suspect that if I highlight the address, then do something else (?) it should show up in the email... but how???

Yes folks, that's right - she's talking about cut and paste :-)

Right ON Obama!

Really, if you saw the 'debate' last night (or heard about it) you may be feeling as angry/sad/frustrated/disgusted as me. 'Why don't you wear a flag pin?' I dunno, would it bring back the 4000 soldiers and marines killed in Iraq? Provide decent Health Care? Educate our kids? Even bring the price of gas down to $1.30 where it was before Bush and his bunch of criminals slashed their way to power? Because if so, I'm guessing he'd wear pink rabbit ears! But truth is, it ain't, and the whole question is a refuge for dimwits and scoundrels to take people's attention away from what a disaster we are living through! Anyways, he handles it a lot better than I would in his position, guess that's why he's running for Prez... Take a look...

If

[IF]

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise

If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!

--Rudyard Kipling

Dad

...and here's one about my Dad, sadly gone (but not forgotten!). I think I'm a pretty good mix of my Mum and my Dad...

My Dad's name was John. He was a great guy, although I didn't really appreciate that for most of my life, maybe my whole life. People say that being a parent is the most satisfying or fulfilling thing they've done, and maybe that's so. But for me, it's the most frustrating thing I've ever done. I'm used to dealing with computers. You tell them what to do and they do it. If they do something different or wrong, it isn't the computers fault, it's mine, because I programmed it wrongly. Kids are different. You tell them what you want them to do and they go and do something completely different, or not not at all. If a kid were something you got from Toys R Us, you'd go and get your money back because it doesn't work properly.

So, my Dad was, I think, and in retrospect, a good guy. A very good guy. We all (or mostly anyway) think that about our father, but I really think he was. I remember his patience, which had to be stretched pretty thin dealing with four kids. I remember how he'd turn red before he'd lose his patience, but not so often that it's the main thing I remember. I remember he had a quiet way about him, a gentle way, that drew people to him, made people comfortable and open around him. I remember he smiled a lot. He had a funny sense of humor that I may have inherited, and many of his so called 'Scottish Jokes' (read: Silly) live on in me.

Jazz was a big part of my Dad's life, of who he was. Creativity, actually, was really what he was about. He had a creative side to him, that had long ago been subsumed by the need to take care of his family, but in his later years he began to exercise his creativity again, through taking an Art degree through the Open University (like todays online Courses), through pottery, through painting and drawing, and just being interested in the world around him.

Years later, when I became more aware of the world around me, not just as somewhere to live, but as somewhere to appreciate at many levels, I came upon the poem 'If' by Rudyard Kipling. Maybe it was my Mum or maybe my Dad who first showed that to me, but years later, after his death, it spoke to me as a Father to his Son. The qualities that he tried, by example, to show to me, are all there, and when I read that poem it makes me think of him.

So now I have two kids who I try to parent, and Adam has learned 'If', and he doesn't appreciate it either. And I play both kids 'Peter and the Wolf' by Prokofiev, and they don't appreciate that. And I listen to old Jazz tunes, and try to be patient, and do my best to guide and educate and encourage the kids to be open, and generous, and thoughtful, and loving, and free of hate, and honest - and they don't appreciate any of it, just as I never appreciated my Father. But maybe one day, they will, I hope, as I appreciate my Father now, and as I carry him with me, every day, to try and be as good a man as he was.

Brian

I'm going to close down my separate 'People' blog because I barely have time to post to this, let alone multiple blogs. So, here's one of my first posts about my buddy Brian...

This is a funny guy. I mean really funny. Laugh out loud gasp for breath 'Did he just say that?' funny. How does he get to be so funny? Well he has a strange way of looking at things, which is to say, it's a very honest and direct way, and, more than that, he just says whatever pops into his head. He's not trying to entertain anyone, he just has funny thoughts and he says them.

So, this isn't his funniest by any means, but it's what made me start this particular blog so I could write stuff down - Brian doesn't do himself any favors, he would be the first to admit, and I dread his late night phone calls in case it's his last one and he's calling to say goodbye.

Brian has been seeing Sarah (on and off) for a loooong while. She decided to try some diet pills from China, which, if I'm not mistaken, are chock full of ephedra, or whatever the name for that is in Chinese. So, she orders these pills on the internet, and when she receives them also gets four 'Chinese Viagra' pills. Brian, deciding he'd like to try these out, but being strangely anxious about certain areas of his life (whilst also demonstrating complete abandon in others), decides to go to the pharmacy to ask what's in them. The conversation, I'm told, goes something like this -

Brian - Can you tell me what's in these 'Chinese Viagra' pills I'm about to take?

Pharmacist - Let me see, hmmm, well, all the ingredients are in Chinese, so although I can tell you it's from China, I can't tell you what's in it.

Brian - So do you think it's safe to take?

Pharmacist - Well it is manufactured to Chinese safety standards, so maybe it'll be ok...

Brian - Dude, have you seen all the toy recalls recently from China? If that's their safety standard, I'm going to leave it - give me one of those Levitra's!

(Pharmacist cracks up)

Real Conservatives

This guy highlights what I've been saying for a while. By any sane standards, many 'conservative' people are not considered so by todays 'Bizzaroworld' standards...

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/archives/189549.php

ABC Debate Cr*pathon!

Really, if you want to know why US Media sucks, take a look at the debate last night on ABC with Gibson and Stephanopoulos. What a disaster! No real questions about real issues, just an endless crapfest of pointless questions about manufactured political 'controversies'. What a shame. What happened to good journalism? I'm all for giving politicians a hard time, asking hard questions, and making sure they answer them, completely and honestly, but this? Garbage.

The debate is not up yet, so here's some post comments from Olbermanns show...

Obama/Politics Rant!

Here's my Mum's response to me previous email/post (she calls it a 'Rant' herself so that's why I've titled it so). She did tell me what the 'CFR' is before... and if I can get her to start using this Blog instead of emailing me stuff and then me posting it here, I'll ask her again about that. I should say that I find my Mum's views on stuff interesting, entertaining, somewhat paranoid (but that doesn't mean they AREN'T all out to get us!), and at the very least they make me think about stuff outside the 'norm', so while I don't agree with much of what she believes, I also don't believe what much of the rest of the World believes either, so I suppose that evens things up...

1. I didn't say the Obamas were 'corrupt' or even stooges, they are the real thing.

2. Yes, they are intelligent, articulate, hardworking etc, I didn't say they weren't.

That's exactly why the intense scrutiny produced fast results.. Ideal people, easy to sell, electable. Wonderful. The CFR Elites are no fools - they are not going to groom and promote idiots - waste of time. They need the real thing. But it is a deliberate program Math. They, and most people in Congress and the Senate are also, to a large extent, 'bought and paid for' - in other words, they follow the line - that's why Ron Paul is virtually the only maverick - his ideas would destroy their power and return it to the States & people.

You know all this, but I'll say it anyway.

America is run, behind the scenes, by bankers (via the Fed) and big business. However well intentioned the current President is, he can do virtually nothing without those two powerful lobbies behind him. Nothing. The Fed/bankers issue and control the money supply, big business controls the rest. The military-industrial complex likes war, because it is highly profitable - for them anyway, tho it leaves the country in debt - and that's good for the bankers too... a nice comfy mutual profit centre. Hence the war in Iraq.

The FDA is in cahoots with big Pharma and the health insurance industry. Big mutual profits again. They have control, and the politicians sell the "benefits of a health industry, serving the people", so centrally run and the cost of healthcare explodes, leaving the working poor vulnerable. So much for American liberalism (ie "socialism") Fine in theory, and genuinely good, caring people, like you, believe and hope that it works. Well, it doesn't - that's the real pity.

It didn't work in Russia or China and look what's going on there now - they're no fools. Selective capitalism - run by the rich and powerful for a limited number, leaving the peasants marginalised . I saw it myself in Beijing. The Chinese must all pay for their childrens' education, thus ensuring ongoing lack of power/influence and a limited number within the middle class, leaving the peasants to rot or be economically forced to move from country to city - to grind the wheels of industry. (Read "The Trap" by James Goldsmith (of all people!!) published in '94, mainly about Europe, but still relevant and a good read.)

Socialism, while purporting to benefit the underdog, actually concentrates power to the rich and tends to marginalise the poor. But that's planned too. They are then controllable - the serfs - and it eventually wipes out people who could cause trouble - the lower and middle classes. The middle class is being wiped out in America right now Math, although the poor still have their meagre benefits - but that's more social control to keep them in place.

Now, you label me a 'right winger'. Does all that sound right wing? I would love true equal opportunity socialism to work the way it is meant to. I truly care about the working man - as you do - and the only thing that differentiates us is the means to the desired end. But I am a realist, not an idealist. Perhaps that just comes with age - I was an idealist once - in the early 70's - read several books on Communism - still got them - I was full of hope and interest, until we realised it just wasn't working the way it should. Collapse of idealistic dreams, followed by relief and the necessary pain of Thatcherism... which finally got us through the slough of despond. Results not perfect by any means, but a damn sight better than suffering the madness of blind and useless socialism. I lived through it.

OK, I know you will remind me that your Democrats are more like our Tories... but I really don't see much evidence of that in the Dem policies being put forward by any of them.......and that is not an argument to re-elect the currently evil Reps. They are finished. The tragedy is that the current candidates are basically all the same - and I grant that Obama does show a little more promise than the others and I wish him the best of luck.

So - back to the beginning of my rant - that they are all being driven by the hidden power lords - not just there, but here in Europe too. One World Government is the aim. But this time, they may have gone too far. Unless drastic changes are made very soon, the US will be bankrupt, the dollar will collapse, and the current recession might soon turn into a depression worse than the 30's. But even then, that's OK.... for the rich. Let the people suffer, what do the elites care? The long planned program will have been achieved.

Although I do think things are in a terrible mess after seven years of Criminal mismanagement/neglect by BushCo, I personally don't think drastic changes are going to be made anytime soon. The history of the US is a series of incremental changes (some dramatic, but incremental nonetheless), and I don't think that will change, even with Obama at the helm, so I guess 'the End is Nigh!' ;-)

Left Wing Son, Right Wing Mom

Here's my Mum's take away from watching the Michelle Obama Video. As an introduction to her, I should say here that she's very intelligent, thoughtful, has been following the elections in the US avidly, and so is very well informed about all this, so I consider this a 'valid' response as opposed to just knee jerk antipathy. Although she is also a Ron Paul supporter, so she is speaking from her own perspective (as are we all!).

Just seen your posting of Obama's missus... yes, very polished and impressive - a very smooth, ambitious lady and a teflon politician - like him. Would be nice if the promises were fulfilled, (I hope they are) but both the Obama's are already bought and paid for.....how else would they rise to such prominence so quickly....? I shall watch with interest and my usual cynicism, as the elites in the Bilderberg/CFR - (of which she is a member) pull their strings behind the scenes. Just don't expect too many changes in policies...the President is just the front man, he'll do as he's told and if he doesn't, they'll kill him too, like Kennedy et al.

So, anyways, I guess her argument is not a million miles away from the 'bittergate' controversy being peddled here at the moment (which I should say I personally find disingenuous at best and claptrap at worst) - he's an 'elite', 'smooth', 'paid for' Politician, not genuine, and will be the same as all the rest - he's a fake etc. That is to say, because every other politician, and especially Bush etc has been an utter disaster in recent history, we should assume that he is also going to be an utter disaster. Again, because of all of the mistakes that he has not made, we should somehow penalize him. Which, as I say, I find exceedingly strange. Here's my response to my Mum -

Hehe. How would they rise to prominence so quickly? Well, of course, maybe they are, in the face of all evidence to the contrary, given the intense scrutiny given all candidates, completely corrupt, bought and paid for, stooges, etc. But, there may be just a tiny, slim, small chance that, ummm, he's intelligent, articulate, hard working, has been involved in politics all his life, and that people think that's pretty cool? :-) ;-) Maybe? Hehe... come ON Mum - at least give the guy a chance to F*ck up! :-) Maybe you're right. But then again, maybe you're wrong, and wouldn't it be good if he were for real huh? Yes - I HAVE drunk the Kool-Aid!! :-)

As she says, we'll see in a few years... maybe... if he gets elected, which I think would be marvellous for the country and the world, if only to change what is deemed possible. That's to say, I hope and believe that he would be a truly great President, but even if (as my Mum believes) he is eventually stymied and proved ineffectual, I still think that the mere fact of having a President who believes in doing things differently (quite apart from the obvious symbolism of an African American as President) will have a lasting effect on the World.

Bitter?

Damn! I don't know why people wouldn't be bitter! I know I am, about all the cr*p that's been going on in the last seven years! Here's Obama talking about the (manufactured) flap over his comments that people in small towns are 'bitter', which Hillary (who made $109m in the last 8 years) and McCain (who married a woman worth over $100m) have used to try and label him as an 'elitist'. It would be funny if it weren't so dumb...

Michelle Obama

Wow. Now that would be a first lady!

Clean Water!

This is pretty amazing. Nothing to replace, nothing to go wrong, low power... clean water everywhere...

http://blog.wired.com/wiredscience/2008/03/colbert-and-kam.html

Parental Relationships

Here's something I thought was interesting and insightful from my Mum where she mentions the 'Follower' poem. She's talking about the different relationship between Mother/Son and Mother/Daughter, which is bound to be different, really, as it would be between Father/Don and Father/Daughter, if Dad were still alive...

Maybe it's not just a mother-daughter thing on the 'cross-over' - but it seems more dificult to manage than with sons - this strange period when the power between generations changes hands....the early dominant parent/child relationship gradually changes to child/parent..and it's hard for me to accept and you lot to manage that cross-over over the years while it's been happening So it's difficult for all while that power is being transferred and the adult children eventually assume responsibility but even then the parent has not yet arrived (me at the moment) at Shakespeare's 7th age - so sparks fly as it's difficult for both parties, especially when all strong willed. It's just trying to maintain the "I'm OK - You're OK" position (heard of that?) on my way to the 7th age when I finally relinquish all power 'sans everything'' and just shut up and do what I'm told.. Actually, that reminds me of one of Dad's favourite poems - "The Follower" I think it was called...Seamus Heany I think...

My Mum just pointed this poem out to me, said it was my Dad's favorite. I really like it. Captures a lot of my feelings about my Dad...

Follower

My father worked with a horse plough,
His shoulders globed like a full sail strung
Between the shafts and the furrow.
The horses strained at his clicking tongue.

An expert. He would set the wing
And fit the bright-pointed sock.
The sod rolled over without breaking.
At the headrig, with a single pluck

Of reins, the sweating team turned round
And back into the land. His eye
Narrowed and angled at the ground,
Mapping the furrow exactly.

I stumbled in his hobnailed wake,
Fell sometimes on the polished sod;
Sometimes he rode me on his back
Dipping and rising to his plod.

I wanted to grow up and plough,
To close one eye, stiffen my arm.
All I ever did was follow
In his broad shadow around the farm.

I was a nuisance, tripping, falling,
Yapping always. But today
It is my father who keeps stumbling
Behind me, and will not go away.

Seamus Heaney